Have I been glutened? The uncomfortable in between.

Have you ever been in that uncomfortable in-between, wondering whether what you’re feeling is the start of a reaction to being glutened? I can assure you, it’s a moment every person with Celiac Disease knows too well.

I could be having a wonderful time with family and friends, enjoying a celebration. I was careful. I knew what I could eat. I asked all the necessary questions and was reassured that what was in front of me was safe.

Then doubt sets in. Out of the blue, it starts quietly.

A strange heaviness. A feeling of nausea. A wave of fatigue that doesn’t make sense. Suddenly, my mind is no longer in the present — it’s backtracking. Replaying the meal I just had, breaking down every ingredient. Replaying conversations, the answers to all the questions I asked. I’m no longer celebrating. I’m in my head, asking myself: Did I just get glutened?

In that moment, my body feels like it’s holding its breath.

If it were immediate and obvious, maybe it would be easier. But it rarely is. Instead, it creeps in slowly, leaving me suspended in uncertainty. I start questioning myself. Maybe I just didn’t eat enough. Maybe I’m anxious because I’m actually having such a good time. Maybe it’s just one of those days. I don’t want to overreact. I don’t want to be dramatic. I don’t want to accuse anyone — or myself (even though I’m already doing exactly that) — of missing something.

So I don’t say anything out loud. I wait.

My stomach tightens in ways I recognize but I hope are coincidental. My head feels foggy, like I’m walking through clouds. I reassure myself it could be the heat, stress, dehydration, hormones, or too much coffee (never, of course). Anything other than gluten. Anything except the thing I worked so hard to avoid.

As my emotions heighten and the fear of what may come makes me anxious, I keep it all inside. I don’t want to ruin a celebration. I don’t want to become the centre of attention. I don’t want to explain myself while I’m still trying to work out whether this really is a gluten reaction. Emotionally, it’s exhausting.

Sometimes the symptoms never fully arrive, and I’m left wondering if it was all in my head. Other times, they hit hard, confirming what I already knew in my gut long before my brain caught up.

Either way, the waiting moments have changed me.

It's made me hyper-aware of my body in a way that’s both protective and punishing. It reminds me that living with Celiac Disease isn’t just about avoiding gluten — it’s about carrying the constant mental load of what if. It’s about trusting myself in a world that so often minimises my reality.

Sometimes the hardest part isn’t the reaction itself, but the not knowing yet — and hoping it's not true.

If you’ve ever been in the uncomfortable in-between, just remember, the uncertainty is part of this disease too, whether you have just been diagnosed or have been living with Celiac Disease for a while now.

~Marge